This post has 289 words, just a drop in the vast sea of words I’ve written for everything from television to magazines.
Countless words— that hopefully counted for something.
But my recent trip to Miami made me realize that maybe my most important, most lasting words were written before I was a writer, before I grew up—and I didn’t even write them myself.
According to Jewish tradition, there’s about a year between the time of death and the time of the formal unveiling ceremony of the stone in the cemetery.
I was 18 when my mom died; and a few months later, my dad asked me what I thought we should engrave on the stone that would mark her grave.
The day she was buried was the only time I’d ever set foot in a cemetery. But I knew what most of them said: Rest in Peace….Forever in Our Hearts….Beloved Wife, Mother, Daughter, Sister.
All those things were true of her, but none of those words seemed to capture the essence of my mom.
As the oldest of her 3 children, I took this as a serious responsibility, to help decide how she should be remembered for eternity. I was in college, and I spent far more time on this assignment than on any of my term papers. Until I came across something I thought was perfect: words that had been written 300 years earlier.
It was an out-of-the-box idea; and I was surprised that my very traditional dad agreed.
Over the years I’ve sometimes looked back at the thousands of words I wrote, feeling they could be changed or edited or improved.
Not this time.
This decision was set in stone. Just 16 words—and I still think they are perfect.
by John Milton from “Paradise Lost”
Just beautiful, Darryle!
She would be so proud of you and I am sure she is smiling from heaven!
Thanks for this. Perfect. I wish I could have met her. Celebrating Renée’s dad’s 90th today and, as always, remembering her mom. The heart aches in celebration.
Oh God, Darryle. Perfectly beautiful.
Beautiful. Just beautiful. Missing you today, can’t wait to see you again!
What beautiful words to capture a family’s love.
Crying.
(Of course, I adore PARADISE LOST.)
Adore you, too.
You have said it so beautifully and knowing her makes it fit all the more. You are a gift and it is always such a joy to read all that you say on paper. Glad to have seen you last weekend and keep it going. Love your writing.
So beautiful. As you always were
I wish that you were part of my life again.
Janie is very blessed.
Sending love
You are so gifted Darryle..and very humble. Funny with your Mom’s first name, as a child I always thought she was Italian!
So sweet, Jennifer; thanks!
Thanks so much, Debi.
Happy 90th to Renee’s dad; what a blessing!
Thanks, Lynn; truly his words are what’s beautiful.
Can’t wait to see you, too! So sweet of you to comment.xxoo
Thank you, Maddy; after all these years, those of us who knew and loved her still miss her.
Jody, truly truly sweet of you! xxxoo
It’s extra special that someone who knew her can appreciate this. It was wonderful to get to see you at the reunion–what a fabulous surprise that you were there. Thanks so much for such sweet and thoughtful words.
Sheri, how thoughtful and how sweet!! Hope I’ll get the chance to see you sometime in Miami before too long. Being so far away, I feel really lucky to have Jane here. Thank you so much for thinking of me and commenting. xxoo
Funny, lots of people thought she was Italian. I never really knew where that name came from—especially since her dad’s family was French! Thanks so much, Denise.