It’s two years today since Howard died, leaving a huge hole in our lives and our hearts.
I miss him even more since I moved back to Los Angeles, where we lived during the 13 years of our marriage.
So many things remind me of him; I constantly wish I could call and tell him something.
I finally took his name off my phone; but if I could talk to him, here’s 12 random things I would tell him:
#1. You were right about driving a Lexus.
#2. It turns out I actually like living in LA. And so does V. Go figure.
#3. Even without your patronage, Costco has managed to survive.
#4. You were right about buying Apple. I wish I had listened.
#5. Alli is even more organized than you were, if that’s even possible.
#6. Kron’s Chocolate is back in Los Angeles and so is the telegram you saved for 35 years, safe in my freezer.
#7. I channel you every time I have to deal with insurance companies, technical support, or customer service.
#8. You were right about law school. Daniel is halfway through.
#9. Possibly I miss you the most when I rent a car or buy airline tickets and I know you would find a better deal.
#10. I’m living 5 minutes from your sister; and every time I see her, we swap Howard stories.
#11. By telling Howard stories, you still make us laugh even when you’re not here.
#12. You would be ridiculously proud of our kids. I’m sure they know that. I feel the pride and love for both of us.
Darryle, this is such a touching and funny blog. I am glad you hear you and V are enjoying living in LA. Carmel misses you.
Love, Ruthie
Aw so touching. Lovely list. Tell us how he would have handled insurance companies.
One thing I would tell him – We shared the most wonderful woman on the planet and, some how, she keeps getting better with age.
This is so beautiful – and since we share a generation and a friendship, so familiar. I am so glad for you and your kids that your memories of him are so positive and the children you share so remarkable. I would urge younger married (or planning to be married) people to read this; these are the things that make a marriage and sustain the friendship even if it ends. Bless you for sharing it.
So sweet … I’m so sorry for your loss.
Oh sniff…
Love you!!
so beautiful, Darryle! Made me cry, but with a bittersweet smile….that you had such a wonderful relationship with your Howard. Never had the opportunity to meet him, but I love him for keeping you smiling, laughing, and providing you with the obvious pride you have in your children. From your childhood buddy, Ellen
Darryle,
This is so touching it made me cry and laugh at the same time. I am glad you wrote it and shared your thoughts with you. It is absolutely beautiful. PS Share some Howard rental car and insurance secrets with the rest of us! Big hugs…
Thanks, Ruthie, I miss Carmel, too.
Your beautiful words brought tears to my eyes and memories, too. Howard left a lasting legacy of love and laughter. xoxoxo
Haha; I’m not sure of all his tricks, but he was a master of negotiation and always won.
Aww, sweet. It sounds kind of weird to say you “shared” the same woman, but there were times I felt like I had two husbands at the same time; haha
Such wise words, Cynthia, and so true that “these are the things that make a marriage and sustain the friendship even if it ends. ” Ah, the things we learn the older we get, right? Thank you. xoxo
Oh, such beautiful simple words. And that picture is breathtaking.
love borne of laughter
lasts forever after …
in the sweet remembering
This is completely beautiful, Darryle. You’re lovely spirit shines through in this. Every woman with an ex should be so blessed.
Darryle this is so lovely and so wonderful to hear someone speak so highly and with such affection for an ex.
I love this post. My ALan has been gone for 9 years – it’s amazing how you carry love with you – it never dies – a bit of oxygen – a look into your kids faces and POOF – the heart beats hard and memories return.
SO much love – so much loss – so much living
Thank you for this piece Darryle about your Howard – I find great comfort in reading your memories and humor.
This is possibly the most beautiful story I’ve ever read!! Glad to know you!! xoxo
Val, thanks so much for visiting and commenting. Have been thinking of you and hope you’re doing well. xo
Love you, too and SO great hearing from you. Thank you! Miss you!!! xo
So sweet of you to comment, Ellen, and such sweet, sweet words–just like you. Thank you.
Cathy, thanks so much. Glad to hear you felt both emotions; and I think some laughs always help to mix in with tears. I wish I had Howard’s negotiation secrets—what I know is that he was not afraid to ask for things no one would think of asking; and he was so persistent when he wanted something that ultimately he could wear someone down. Most of the time, that was me. haha
Still remember the first time you met him when you and Tom visited us in LA right after we got married. Somewhere I have the pictures. Thanks, Marsha, sending much love xoxo
Simple is always better, right? If only I could remember that more often life might be less complicated. Thanks so so much, Ann.
Very nice; I like that. Is that a famous quote or you? Either way, thanks for saying it. D
Oh, Marci, thanks so so much. I wish all exes had our kind of relationship. I know it’s not always possible; and I do feel really blessed that we didn’t work as spouses but did work as co-parents.
Thanks, Linda, as I just said to Marci above, it’s not possible for everyone. People used to be shocked at how our relationship worked as friends after divorce. I think more people are getting enlightened now; and I know lots of people who’ve been able to remain friends or at least friendly enough to interact. It really makes a difference and after all, it’s all about the kids.
Thanks so so much, Felice, I so appreciate your words. And thanks especially for sharing your own experience with Alan. As you say, “so much love – so much loss – so much living. ” xo
Too sweet, Judy! Thanks so much; so glad I know you, too; and hope things are great for you and your family. xo
Just me. Howard, Alli, Daniel, V and so many others were and are so extraordinarily fortunate to have had or still have you in their lives. Thanks for sticking around. And keep laughing!