I didn’t plan to be a mother.
After several years of marriage, H and I took a class at UCLA every Saturday for 3 months with other couples like ourselves. None of us could figure out whether or not we wanted to have kids—and the classes were designed to help us decide.
At the end of the series, we went home as confused as ever.
I went back to the Ben Franklin test. The list of why NOT to have kids was always much longer– and had far better reasons– than the list of why we SHOULD have kids.
And then one day suddenly the world shifted and I knew I wanted to be a mother. And life as I knew it would never be the same once I was.
I mention this now for two reasons.
Reason #1: it explains this photo taken from a blog I love called: Reasons to be Happy That You Don’t Have Kids. Which are all sensible—and hilarious—especially if you already have kids. Check it out.
This blog totally reminds me of my Ben Franklin test. Because on the opposite side is Reason #2: Daniel is coming home from college today. And I can’t wait.
Enjoy your time with Daniel while he is home……..kids are very special to us moms………my baby (age 30) is leaving for DC in 1 week with my adorable granddaughter whom I have a very close relationship with, as I do with my daughter and I will miss them lots…..maybe I will get to see Carla and her grandchildren when I go up……wouldn’t that be nice?
How interesting. When I knew you in college, I’m sure we never discussed whether we wanted to have kids, although I knew from a very young age that I did. But when we re-met as new-ish Moms, you were so thoroughly “Mommified” that it came as a shock that you once weren’t sure. It is so obvious that you made and right decision.
Btw, what, exactly, is the Ben Franklin test?
Thanks Gail, you sound so lucky in your relationships with kids and granddaughter. You’re right, I squeeze every second of joy out of the time I get with my kids.
Deborah: I was completely shocked myself when I became thoroughly “Mommified”—which happened within days of giving birth to Alli—and has never let up since.
BTW, I thought everyone says “Ben Franklin test” to describe when you want to make a decision and draw a line down a sheet of paper–listing the plusses and minuses on both sides.
So when YOU didn’t know the expression, I wondered where I got it from. I just found out on Google that it came from the “Ben Franklin Close” which is when you want to make a sale, and you have a prospect you can’t close, and you have them make a list like that. I never knew this originated as a sales tactic— but now I’m pretty sure I picked up this expression from one of my husbands. I’ll let you guess which one.
Hey Darryle, thank you for your shout out to our blog! We are having a good time with it and it’s such a fun way to connect with people. Still childless! Got drunk Sat night, stayed up on the computer all night Sunday, went to work today with no shower and 2 hours of sleep. Wait, that kinda sounds like the life of a parent…except maybe for the got drunk part. xo, K
Such fun connecting with you, Karyn, feel like Eric and I are already old friends after connecting thru Twitter. Even though you guys are having a great time without kids (won’t comment on the drunk part) personally I was shocked to find out it’s also possible to have a great time WITH kids. Either way, hope you’ll continue the blog—love it.