V was on a business trip this weekend and an old friend was in town overnight. We had a girls’ pajama party, talking into the middle of the night. (that photo isn’t us, by the way. We were drinking wine.)
When she left the next morning, I realized this little snapshot of one night is an example of something that lies beneath the surface but has become the foundation of my life.
In person, on the phone, online— friends play a far bigger role in my life than they do on my blog—sometimes by choice, sometimes because they’re scattered all over the place. I don’t get to see or even talk to them often. Usually that’s my fault.
But I know they’re there.
They’ve been there when I didn’t even know I needed them… and when I needed them most.
Behind every friend is a story; one you might not read here but a story that’s in my heart. Sometimes it’s taken years, even decades, to draw closer; sometimes intimacies are shared in minutes. That’s the beauty of friendship–there aren’t any rules.
Earlier in my life I didn’t appreciate the value—or importance of my girlfriends…..that time with them is good —even essential for health….that to have a friend, you need to be a friend.
I hope everyone reading this has friends who come to mind reading these words—-which don’t really say anything that hasn’t been said better somewhere else. And I hope you already know what I’ve learned to appreciate. It’s something I think about, and should say more often— just a shout-out to friends—with gratitude— for giving me a treasure that makes me feel rich beyond measure.
Gail R says
Ok Darryle. Very well said as usual, and I truly am looking forward to spending time with you. The girls sleepover sounded great and I treasure moments like that too. And all girl moments, in whatever form. LIke the quote says, “Friendship isn’t a big thing, it’s a million little things”.
V-Grrrl @ Compost Studios says
I put a lot of time into relationships, into being with people one-on-one, where they are in life. I’ve made friends at different ages/stages of life and some of those friendships dwindled to nothing as circumstances changed. Others have remained. I have a handful of friends who have stayed in my circle since I was 12 years old–this despite the fact we all scattered geographically when we graduated from high school. The older I get, the fewer people there are who have known me most of my life, and so this core group is extra special to me–my anchor.
Darryle Pollack says
I’ve never heard that quote; I did consider adding about a zillion others to this post though. I also treasure “girl moments in whatever form” —and look forward to ours when you are in CA.
Darryle Pollack says
Thanks so much for sharing—and nice to “see” you. I feel the same way and have had much the same experience—although occasionally friendships that have dwindled to nothing have come back to life–which is wonderful when it happens. So many people have lost touch completely with their friends from “home” and childhood—I always feel they’re missing out, and you’re lucky to have your core group. I also feel really lucky to still have friends who grew up with me. It really adds something to my life when there are people who know where you come from and who you were —and I also find being with them is especially satisfying and special the older I get. No question why so many people love Facebook.