Just Say Yes–It’s Far Less Stress

Lately I’ve blogged about making progress in overcoming certain fears.  Although I’ve barely scratched the surface of the list of things I’ve been afraid of, I realize that I can add a new item to the list of fears I have overcome—possibly the fear where I’ve made the most progress–entertaining people in my home.

The reason I’m thinking of this right now is that I am having people here tonight.  This is a simple gathering for a worthy cause–and involves serving only drinks and dessert.  Dessert falls right into my sweet spot– automatically making entertaining easier.  Still, just the idea of having people in my home used to make me nervous.  And right now, I’m relaxed.  I’m so relaxed that my friend Laurie told me I’m her role model for having people over without stressing.  Which is pretty ironic considering how stressed I got about this in the years before I knew Laurie.

I have to confess there is a good reason I am not stressed about tonight.  If you read my blog “Loaded Questions“, you remember I complained about being invited somewhere, asking “Can I bring anything?” and actually getting an assignment.  The only answer I really want to hear is : “No, thank you.”

Tonight the tables have turned.  A few days ago, Laurie asked me this question:  “Can I bring anything?”   I did hesitate– at first.  Because I know Laurie reads my blog.  And I didn’t want to feel like a hypocrite.  But  instead of salvaging my integrity by saying, “No, thank you,” I immediately accepted her offer to bring a large thermos that holds coffee.  Anything to relieve me of responsibility and allow me to think about one less thing.

My friend Dana also asked that question. And since she is co-hosting tonight’s party, she took on the job of bringing most of the desserts.

I did not hear the same question from my friend Jane. I knew she would say, “Can I bring anything?”–so I gave her an assignment before she even had a chance to ask.  Which is something you can do with a really close friend, especially one who has (in addition to the jar of chocolate candy) a fabulous garden filled with fresh flowers and real talent for arranging them.

So Jane is handling the flowers.  Which is why…only one hour before 20 people are due to arrive at my home, rather than stressing about it, I am sitting here at the computer—feeling a little bit hypocritical, but completely relaxed.