If you read Alli’s post yesterday, you just got a tiny peek into one of the major things I never signed up for: when Alli married into the military, in a sense, I did, too. The moral dilemma she described, being married to a soldier during a time of a controversial war, multiplied beyond her–and created similar dilemmas for the people who love her. If we had a few hours I could get started on this topic, but for now I’ll just give one example.
Alli got married during the early days of the war on Iraq, and at the time, many people supported Bush and the war. Of course you can imagine where I stood— I hadn’t even been able to bring myself to listen to his speech the night he announced he was invading Iraq.
As a new bride, Alli gave out yellow ribbon magnets to her family, asking us to put them on our cars in support. It was one of those ribbons with a flag that you see on cars all the time. Of course I wanted to support Alli, but the ribbon seemed to signify support of Bush and the war. I just couldn’t bring myself to put it on my car, and neither could Daniel, who adores and always wants to support his older sister.
A few days went by after Alli gave us the ribbons. One night, Daniel and I were talking with a friend about our dilemma– how could we honor our commitment to peace, yet honor our love for Alli at the same time? Daniel, who was 16, suddenly said, “There should be a yellow ribbon with a peace sign in the middle of it. Then people like us could put them on our cars.”
It was a simple idea, but we’d never seen it. So Daniel made a sketch, we had the magnets made up, and he decided to give his profits to help returning veterans suffering from post-traumatic stress syndrome. Daniel called his venture “Support Through Peace.”
And so this particular dilemma had a happy ending–for everyone. Daniel figured out a way to support his sister while honoring his own values. Alli was able to support her husband and her country and include her family.
And I got the best of all: an opportunity to express how proud I am of both of my children—and for a mom, there’s nothing better than that.
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