Did you see this??
I can hardly process the idea of living that long— much less living with the same person.
Then again, this could be a little ADD in me—I can’t even write a blog sticking to the same topic. I like variety in everything– food, work, clothing … maybe this extends to people.
When we were newlyweds, H and I spent weekends glued at the hip. We knew a couple with a long marriage and 3 kids—and we’d wonder why they didn’t spend their free time together. She did her thing, he did his; we didn’t get it.
I get it now….. (P.S. H and I split up—and that couple is still married.)
With small kids, I used to dread losing that extra pair of hands. Once the kids are self-sufficient, it’s another story. When I was divorced, I learned to appreciate the value of being on my own….and the benefits of marital separation.
Not THAT kind….I’m talking temporary separation —as in travel—when one of us is out of town.
I maintain there are two kinds of wives: the ones who love when their husbands are out of town, and those who love it but don’t admit it.
This has to start with basic trust. If you believe in your marriage, I’m a believer in long leashes. And they go in both directions.
I travel alone a lot. And I can think of far worse things than having a hotel room or a friends’s guest room ..…or the house—–to myself. Like I do right now while V is gone.
I have no guilt over how late I stay up....and no wondering if the toilet seat stays down.
The bedside lamp stays on. ESPN stays off.
Personal space is highly underrated. And I think a little absence is great for a relationship.
I’m always happy when V leaves. And I’m almost always happy when he gets back.
I’ve gotten a couple fascinating private messages about this topic–and the issue of spouses who travel a lot for work. Can’t really sum it all up in a comment–but at least some with happy marriages seem to think a little breathing room/space is a healthy thing.
Although now that I think about it, V is on a trip— and he hasn’t given me any feedback on this post…..