(Obviously I’m going to tell you anyway.)
It started a couple weeks ago when my right thumb hurt.
Actually what hurt wasn’t my thumb—it was the area just below my thumb.
And as long as I’m being completely accurate, it didn’t really hurt either. It was more like an ache ….that morphed into soreness…..into discomfort.
Anyway, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out.
A pain in my back or a headache or a mark on my skin—-for years and years, every twinge, ache or pain in my body meant the same thing: I had cancer.
This was of course before I got cancer.
When I really had cancer, my body gave me no twinges or pain at all.
These days, if I get any minor aches or pains, I try to ignore them.
This time it also helped that I’ve never heard of anyone who had cancer of the thumb.
So the rocket scientist in me kicked in with an immediate diagnosis: too much clicking, too much texting—clearly I have carpal tunnel syndrome.
The cure was equally obvious.
I switched the mouse to the other side of my keyboard— and started clicking and texting with my left hand.
A few days passed.
My right thumb still ached.
I remained hopeful….until my left thumb started to ache, too.
Cancer seemed even less logical. So did carpal tunnel. So did rocket science.
And since all Jewish mothers are certified to practice medicine, I came up with a new diagnosis: tension.
I already have a major case of TMJ; I practically have lockjaw when I wake up in the morning.
And I don’t just clench my teeth; I’ve also noticed I wake up with my fists clenched, too.
Now the socks are starting to make sense, right?
For TMJ you get a nightguard for your teeth; the socks are a nightguard for my hands so I can’t clench them in my sleep.
I’m nothing if not creative.
I wore the socks on my hands every night.
It turns out– creativity is not rocket science.
Finally I went to a doctor.
I had no idea there were doctors who just handle hands.
He examined my hands; he took x-rays.
I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be cancer; but it could still be life– threatening.
As in: no more texting… no more typing…. No more life as I know it.
Though the doc says I have a mild case, his diagnosis was still a game-changer—not physically, but mentally:
I always assumed arthritis is an ailment for old people….which clearly doesn’t include me.
But, hey, there’s supposed to be a lesson in every experience.
So what did I end up learning from this?
It’s not rocket science.
I learned to keep my socks on my feet.