Someone famously said there’s nothing to writing: just sit down at a typewriter and open a vein.
Less famously, I’d say there’s nothing to blogging, either: just stand up in front of an audience and strip– till you’re stark naked.
Which is kind of what it’s like to be one of the Voices of the Year—my peak experience at BlogHer (if you don’t count the free Dove Bars).
Speaking in public brings up another one of those well-known lines—if you feel nervous, just imagine your audience naked. Which makes the public strip far easier at BlogHer– with an audience made up of experienced strippers.
For the handful of bloggers chosen to read, this is your 4 minutes of fame—at least, 4 minutes is the time allocated to read your post. Instructions I took literally after working in television news. Taking more liberal literary license was just one of the differences between me and the other women (I’m fifth from the right) sharing the stage. (How did I get so short? And did I mention I’m practically old enough to have given birth to any of them–or all of them?)
Just before the event started, we gathered in a small room nearby. I didn’t know anyone; hadn’t read their posts; all I knew ahead of time was that they are talented writers. I didn’t realize we would spawn our own support group on the spot, and that such memorable moments would take place off the stage, not just on it. I also didn’t expect the impact and inspiration I felt backstage as each of our little band of bloggers “stripped” in public. (Highly recommended reading; you can read all the posts here.)
From the ridiculous to the sublime barely covers it. They ranged from a hilarious phone encounter with AT & T —to the stuff people save from a fire— to marking 15 years of sobriety after addictions to heroin and cocaine —to the almost un-hearable unbearable pain of mothers suffering the loss or disabilities of their children— to the woman just before me who read a poignant story of why it’s important for every woman to own a pair of red underwear. (How have I survived all these years without them?)
I hadn’t heard any of this yet, as we were led from the “green room” into the ballroom to settle backstage before we would take our turns reading.
Mostly everyone was nervous. Really nervous.
Not me; not after a career as a TV newscaster. But even though public speaking is well within my comfort zone, I wasn’t feeling comfortable.
Something tugged at me. Something wasn’t right. And as we waited backstage, moments before the event I suddenly realized what it was.
So I got up and left the group shortly before we were announced. Back outside in the hallway, I headed straight for the restroom.
It was less a physical issue; more a personal political statement. And in the ladies’ room, I took off the Spanx—(I’m not THAT brave; I put on underwear I brought in my purse. )
Somehow it seemed important; a symbolic act. And maybe it was.
Blogging is all about being authentic; being yourself. Letting it all hang loose.
So this little episode held lessons for any blogger—Get rid of what’s holding you back or holding you in.
It felt right. And I was completely in my comfort zone when I stood on the stage and stripped.
Not that anyone would have noticed I was sans- Spanx —a delicious irony since I was reading a post about how women become invisible as we get older.
Next time I speak in public I’ll go one better. I’ll be wearing red underwear.
Here’s a link to all the posts as they were read; I’ll share video as soon as it’s posted.
priscilla says
Congratulations!!!!!! Can’t wait to see the video!!!
And looking forward to reading all the posts. PS For next time, red Spanx! 🙂
Ron says
Very proud of “my” blogHer. Looking forward to seeing the video.
Denise Fisher says
How exciting and fulfilling! Thank you for sharing and inspiring us!
Chloe says
I loved you when you got up and read your post and now I love you even more. This brought tears to my eyes. I thought you followed the underwear lady perfectly (her piece was very moving for me) and little did I know you’d stripped yours off.
I agree with you that blogging is a lot like stripping naked and bleeding in public. I’m still not entirely certain why I do it or that it is even healthy that I do. But do it I do. And I’m glad you do it too, Darryl. Thanks for this post.
Nicole says
I so wish I could have seen you…one of the best parts of BlogHer…I haven’t read anyone’s yet, waiting until I can get comfy and have time to read them all.
Congratulations, you deserve it, both the underwear and the public reading 🙂
Darryle Pollack says
Thanks—and thanks for the image of red Spanx!
Darryle Pollack says
Much appreciate your words—and you.
Darryle Pollack says
It was fulfilling, and fun–and you will really enjoy hearing the women reading their posts. Especially since you’ve been blogging, they will surely inspire you. Thanks so much, Denise.
Darryle Pollack says
You’re so sweet; your comment makes me want to go back and do it again, and get to meet you in person this time. Funny, when I listened to Lori read about the red underwear I really did think of mentioning taking off the Spanx–but didn’t want to get off track.
Have to say I used to wonder why I was blogging, too and enjoying it so much–and I think part of the answer for me is that it connects me to people–like you, like this. It’s a great feeling and I’m guessing it feels the same for you. Thanks so much for your comment; and so glad we connected.
Darryle Pollack says
I surely deserve that red underwear! And I plan to get it, too. Thank you; wish you’d made it to BlogHer this year–the whole experience was amazing, as usual. Missed seeing you.
Deborah Shane says
You were an amazing gift of my time there! Loved connecting after 40 years? I was so proud to be a part of this event and be there to meet so many beautiful, inspired, passionate women. Our country is one of the few that doesn’t revere it’s elders. I refuse to be invisible. I will change the face of what being 50+ means today. You already have! “ROCK ON”! xo
Jennifer Wagner says
Now I feel even worse that I choose to skip BlogHer this year. Thanks for the link to all the posts. Yours especially is a topic I am far too aware of, I am in that invisible zone and trying hard to be seen and heard.
Looking forward to NYC 2012.
magpie says
Hey – you were great.
Jenni Chiu says
I had no idea you did that. How beautiful.
What a joy it was being back there with all of you.
Next time… sans underwear all together!
Darryle Pollack says
Who could have predicted we’d meet up at a blogging conference 40 years after high school? But somehow, that fit perfectly fit with all the other random /wonderful connections at BlogHer. I know you are passionate about this age issue, and I agree it’s time to change things so we are REVERED as elders—when we get there. (haha)
Darryle Pollack says
I was surprised how many women stopped me after I read and told me how much this issue resounded for them—though they’re nowhere close to 50 yet. You did miss a great time but don’t feel bad; just look forward to next year–lucky for you it’s on your side of the country again. I’ll look forward to seeing you there; and also nice to see you here.
Darryle Pollack says
Thank you!! And it was so nice seeing you in person.
Darryle Pollack says
Yes I did that. I could never make this stuff up.
The whole experience was as you said, a total joy—
Wishing you much happiness with your soon-to-come bundle of joy. Will look forward to reading about it–and seeing you next time—with or without underwear.
Alexandra says
I wish everyone had an opportunity to have their words heard, read aloud.
How wonderful to meet you, and such an honor to stand with you, behind stage.
Darryle Pollack says
Thanks so much for visiting me and staying in touch.
I loved getting to meet you and share such a memorable experience. There was one other opportunity for people to read their posts out loud if they were not voices of the year. It was a session at BlogHer one night called “Listen to your mother”–it’s traveling around the country so lots more people will get to see and hear bloggers in their local areas. I don’t know if you were there for that, but it was one of the highlights of BlogHer for me–hearing so many incredibly talented, poignant, hilarious stories–fantastic!