I haven’t been online as often lately. Partly for the same reason that would possess a person to sleep with her hands stuck inside two balls of socks.
Don’t ask.
(Obviously I’m going to tell you anyway.)
It started a couple weeks ago when my right thumb hurt.
Actually what hurt wasn’t my thumb—it was the area just below my thumb.
And as long as I’m being completely accurate, it didn’t really hurt either. It was more like an ache ….that morphed into soreness…..into discomfort.
Anyway, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out.
A pain in my back or a headache or a mark on my skin—-for years and years, every twinge, ache or pain in my body meant the same thing: I had cancer.
This was of course before I got cancer.
When I really had cancer, my body gave me no twinges or pain at all.
Go figure.
These days, if I get any minor aches or pains, I try to ignore them.
This time it also helped that I’ve never heard of anyone who had cancer of the thumb.
So the rocket scientist in me kicked in with an immediate diagnosis: too much clicking, too much texting—clearly I have carpal tunnel syndrome.
The cure was equally obvious.
I switched the mouse to the other side of my keyboard— and started clicking and texting with my left hand.
A few days passed.
My right thumb still ached.
I remained hopeful….until my left thumb started to ache, too.
Cancer seemed even less logical. So did carpal tunnel. So did rocket science.
And since all Jewish mothers are certified to practice medicine, I came up with a new diagnosis: tension.
I already have a major case of TMJ; I practically have lockjaw when I wake up in the morning.
And I don’t just clench my teeth; I’ve also noticed I wake up with my fists clenched, too.
Now the socks are starting to make sense, right?
For TMJ you get a nightguard for your teeth; the socks are a nightguard for my hands so I can’t clench them in my sleep.
I’m nothing if not creative.
I wore the socks on my hands every night.
It turns out– creativity is not rocket science.
Finally I went to a doctor.
I had no idea there were doctors who just handle hands.
He examined my hands; he took x-rays.
I was pretty sure it wouldn’t be cancer; but it could still be life– threatening.
As in: no more texting… no more typing…. No more life as I know it.
Though the doc says I have a mild case, his diagnosis was still a game-changer—not physically, but mentally:
I always assumed arthritis is an ailment for old people….which clearly doesn’t include me.
But, hey, there’s supposed to be a lesson in every experience.
So what did I end up learning from this?
It’s not rocket science.
I learned to keep my socks on my feet.
I hope your thumb feels better soon!
In the words of the sage, Mr. Nathan Birnbaum (aka Mr. George Burns), “If you wake up one morning after a certain age and nothing hurts … you’re dead. This is just nature’s way of reminding you that you’re still with us … and what good news THAT is! Remember dear friend, you’re not all thumbs.
Thank u; this was just whining; actually I have a fairly high pain threshhold—which is lucky because I doubt my thumb will be getting much better—probably worse. Still I’ll take this over other health issues I could have instead.
Didn’t know that was George Burns real name. I don’t identify with the whole idea of aging; am convinced I’m still 30-something. Honestly before this episode, I’ve escaped the aches and pains—or maybe I’m so old I forget I have them.
Have to share a comment from my FAcebook page from a friend who thought the socks were meant to stop me from texting and twittering during the day!
I never thought of that–but think it’s a brilliant idea–I’m thinking of marketing sock-guards for Twitter addicts, smokers and parents to use on their kids to keep the phone bills down.
I admit, I thought that at first about the socks 🙂 You know who also gets arthritis? athletes…that’s clearly what you are. Need to lay off the shotputting or whatever you’re doing 🙂
You didn’t know I’m a shotputter?
Really, what I”m doing is what we’re all doing –i.e. repetitive motions…i.e. text much?
I got a message/and some advice from a friend who is an expert on arthritis and here’s some of what she said:
90% of arthritis can be helped with exercise…and repetitive
movements, like texting and using a mouse, just make it worse…So, it’s not carpal tunnel, but it’s basically still from overuse with a genetic pre-disposition. There are hand exercises to do, and finger exercises also.
The main thing is constantly remember to STOP making fists, and to RELAX your hands whenever you can. It’s the tension that causes the stress in the joints.