These are things you never think about when you are newly married, or newly minted parents. You don’t think about the chance that your family will look less like Leave it To Beaver –and more like Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger. When you’re bitching that your husband sleeps through the screams on the intercom, you aren’t imagining the guilt you will feel about your kids shuttling between two homes in two cities. You never sign up for this, but sometimes, this is what you get. At least I did.
And you might also get, as I did, a child who lives in a different state; which is why I ended up with my kids over July 4 at my ex-husband’s in Los Angeles.
I will refer to my ex-husband as “H”–to be fair to my current husband (is there a better way to put that??). You have to picture this scene: Since the blog was a last minute idea, neither H or the kids had any forewarning. So I told them just before I posted the first piece,and gave them a printed version to read. I watched the color drain out of H’s face as he read the part where I mention using my past life for material.
So far he’s been a great sport–(of course I haven’t mentioned him yet). And he also spent hours helping me master the technology to get the blog started. Plus helping me with every other electronic gadget I own which I brought with me in a shopping bag. Although I was forced to drive to LA incommunicado, thanks to H on the way home I was in compliance with the new hands-free phone law in California.
I have to say I am really really lucky. H and I are the original Bruce Willis and Demi Moore —minus the fame and fortune. Ok, minus a lot of other things too. But that’s another
What matters today is that this July 4 turned out to be wonderful. Not only did I get to spend July 4 with BOTH of my children under visual control. I also felt like a fly on the wall, observing how my kids function in their other home that I had never lived in. Watching the dynamics of the relationships. Witnessing how their dad has been part of their lives, no matter how far away he was. Washing away problems of the past and appreciating moments in the present.
This family reunion, light years away from what I would have once wanted and imagined, felt just right.
My family today reminds me of what I say about my mosaics (which I will post when I figure out how). Mosaics are like life—sometimes what is most beautiful and precious is shattered. Our work is to pick up the pieces, and rearrange them– into something that is still beautiful, but in a different way.
….And although I would love to leave you with this warm and fuzzy picture of our family reunion, I have to admit that mixed in with all the good feelings and fun, there was one little thing bothering me–as H cooked a succession of elaborate and tasty dishes. What I want to know is —where he was hiding this culinary talent when we were married???