For all the time I’ve spent in our nation’s capital–multiple trips to every monument and memorial, it’s hard to believe I missed something. Then again, maybe it’s not a complete surprise that I never saw the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier–when you see this photo from an earlier visit to Washington.
For many people like me from the Vietnam era, the world inside the military has always been completely unknown. I never had the slightest interest in knowing anything about the parallel universe of the military, and I assumed I never would.
Of course you should never say never.
The universe had a master plan for this gap in my Washington experience. Last weekend I saw the Tomb of the Unknown soldier in the company of a real soldier, my son-in-law.
Had I visited before, I would have completely missed what I could see now. As we watched the changing of the guard, I could see it through the eyes of two people who chose and love the military life. They appreciate the honor of being one of the few soldiers chosen to stand guard 24 hours a day. They understand the meaning for those who have served the rest of us.
It seemed fitting to visit a cemetery on a dreary day with rows of graves stretching in every direction.
Looking at the sea of stones with a soldier next to me, I took in the enormity of so many graves, filled with the bodies of men like my son-in-law. And their wives. As Alli pointed out to me proudly in a casual comment. Someday, as the wife of a veteran, my own daughter could end up buried in Arlington National Cemetery.
Need I say– I never signed up for this…
Ron says
What a memorable flashback for me: In 1957 my family embarked on our annual car trip to see our country. We drove north through Savannah, Charleston, and finally D.C. My father, a WWII vet, insisted our first stop be the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. Only 8 years old at the time, I remember to this day the chills running up and down my spine. Like you, my military IQ is virtually nil, but there was a majestic aura of pride and remembrance that I carry with me to this day. Thank you for bringing that feeling back for me. Happy Holiday to you and your very functional “dysfunctional” family.
Darryle Pollack says
thanks Ron, and you brought back a great memory for ME. My first trip to Washington was also one of those annual car trips with the family seeing the country. Wonder if families still do that—as a parent, I never did this, and I always feel guilty about it. That my kids never had the experience of being crammed into the back seat of a car with 2 other people and no diversion other than playing word games for hours and counting out of state license plates. Sleeping at roadside motels every night. Sounds grim but were happy memories and part of what made our family “functional” …or not.
Duchess says
I dragged two of my children to Arlington cemetary (the same day we went to the CIA by accident, which I wrote about in my blog). All of Washington, with its ceremony and monuments, meant little to these British children, I think, and by the time they got to the cemetary they were quite fed up. But they had sweetly humoured me earlier when I walked beside the thousands of names carved on the Vietnam memorial with tears rolling down my cheeks. I was remembering the feel of some of those names in my mouth as I stood at a podium in Tampa, Florida in that saddest of protests: reading the names of the dead, hour after hour.
It is possible to be a patriot and to honour sacrifice even while believing your country has done wrong.
How can you be anything but a patriot when you visit the Jefferson Memorial? How can you do anything but honour sacrifice when you visit the Arlington Cemetry? How can you forget that a country can also go wrong when you pass by those names on the wall at the Vietnam Memorial?
I wonder what shape the Iraq Memorial will take, or how your daughter and son in law will feel when they stand before it.
Darryle Pollack says
Thanks to your complaint months ago, I started investigating moving my blog to a new site where it would be easier to comment. Almost accomplished and well worth it–just to get comments from you that are as well stated as this.
I also think that what makes America so strong is exactly what you said–that we can watch our country go wrong and still feel incredibly patriotic–sometimes more than ever just for that reason. Till this visit I had never noticed the Korean War memorial, and when I saw that I too thought about what will someday memorialize our experience in Iraq.
I do think soldiers see it differently than we do–they don’t question the mission as much but just honor their commitment to accomplish it.
Katie Schwartz says
This post gave me the chills. I do agree with Darryle that soldier see the war differently than we do. I can’t relate to it the way a soldier does. I don’t support the wars we’re in and have been in, but I have always supported the soldiers.
Darryle Pollack says
Thanks, Katie. I know you aren’t old enough to remember this is possibly the biggest difference from the Vietnam era–the overall feeling of support for the soldiers even while opposing the war. Ironic since those in Vietnam were draftees, not volunteers. Not something I feel particularly proud of when I think back.