Unfortunately– and sadly—it does.
What Happens Every Day is divorce, in particular the unraveling marriage and divorce of Isabel Gillies, who wrote this book I just read.
The cover calls it “an all too true story.” It’s the flip side to the fairy tale, a fact of life for half of us. When there are children involved, how their families handle it can determine the damage. Because divorce will be woven into the rest of their lives, and the fallout lasts forever.
Just this week, a friend encountered her ex for the first time in years at the graduation of their child. V attended the funeral of his ex-wife’s husband. While I was with my ex when Alli moved back to Caliornia.
I feel fortunate that H and I formed a friendship out of the fragments of our marriage. That we’ve buried the bad times and the bad feelings—is what allows us to enjoy the good times and good feelings, and allows us to appreciate the precious gifts we share. In that sense, we’re still a sort of family.
Not everyone is so lucky. But even parents who go in different directions and find themselves at opposite poles often find a way to meet in the center– where the kids are. Because the children connect you to that circle of life forever.
Happens Every Day. Just like the book. Don’t worry; this doesn’t spoil the ending. Like any divorce that involves kids, there is no ending.
My mantra, along with my ex, has always been, “The marriage ended; the family didn’t.”
But I know I’m lucky.
“Like any divorce that involves kids, there is no ending.” All too true, even though the kids get older and people move further away from each other. I live 2000 miles from my ex-husband and haven’t seen him since our son’s college graduation two years ago, but we still talk and e-mail occasionally, and we’ll always have him in common.
My second husband and his first wife have shared custody of their kids, ages 9 and 14 – they’re still daily parts of each other’s lives for years to come, like it or not.
I’m planning to read that book once it’s out in paperback.
The book is good, worth reading. Thank you both for sharing your own stories— examples of how people stretch the definition of families after divorce. Another one of those things none of us sign up for…