Now that swine flu turned out to be a bust as an epidemic, I’m more worried about getting something else…. a condition I discovered in an obscure medical journal and wrote about last summer (you can find it here):
GE (scientific name: Grandma Envy) is a newly documented physiological and psychological condition with clearly recognizable symptoms. Generally the typical GE patient is female, and over the age of 50. The sufferer will often approach (sometimes even aggressively) small children, particularly infants; often holding them against their will.
Occasionally GE sufferers will find themselves involuntarily browsing in stores that sell baby items, or engaging in fantasy involving their imaginary grandchildren. They are also highly likely to whine about their lack of grandchildren to anyone who will listen, especially their adult children, husbands and friends.
Due to the increasingly higher age of mothers, this condition is on the rise; scientists estimate that as many as 85% of all women over 50 will develop Grandma Envy at some point in their lifetimes. Treatment options are limited, and researchers are trying to develop a vaccine. As yet there is no known cure.
Though I was at high risk to develop GE, I had no symptoms. Until this weekend when I took the train down to Washington from New York…. and came face to face with my niece’s identical twins– Ellie and Marin.
Last year I came up with the perfect cure for Grandma Envy—you can read about it here. Unfortunately, for me I think it’s too late….