She’s the only person left on the planet who changed my diapers. She remembers the day I was born. She lives across the country; I see her very rarely.
At 91, she moves a little slower and shakier—but she’s as sharp and salty as ever. She reads like crazy but she doesn’t use a computer— and she has no idea that I recently wrote a post about how I wish I had more of my mother’s clothing.
So it was an amazing sign from the universe when I saw her last week— she brought me a dress of my mom’s that she wanted me to have.
I’m thrilled to have my mom’s dress; and over the years she’s given me so much more.
When my mom died of cancer at 41, I didn’t yet appreciate or understand the depth of their relationship. Years later, I learned that this was the person to whom my mom confided her secrets, and asked to watch over her 3 children.
Our father took great care of us; and she had her own family. Still, she kept her promise to my mother….to this very day.
She’s the closest my kids ever came to having a grandmother. They call her “Aunt Helen”; because that’s what I call her. But we’re not related by blood; we’re related by love.
My mother had a sister; Aunt Helen is the sister my mother chose for herself.
Back in the day, “aunt” was what we kids called women who were close friends of the family. I wish there was a better word in the lexicon to describe these close ties—with people who are closer than friends but aren’t relatives.
With families that are fragmented and scattered and blended, we aren’t all lucky enough to have families who are there for us -—geographically, physically or emotionally. But if we’re really really lucky, we have friends who define what family truly means—-even though our mothers told us blood is thicker than water.
Friends are the family we choose for ourselves. I feel grateful that my mom chose so well—and I wish everyone could have an Aunt Helen.
She just looks like a wonderful lady…and not 91!
My eyes “filled up,” when I read this, Darryle. How very touching and wonderful! I too, have a “sister,” that I chose. We have been best friends, since we were in Kindergarten and yes, my children call her, “Aunt Holly.” (She is Sean’s God-Mother, as well.)
I hope Aunt Helen has some more clothing for you, tucked away, someplace, that belonged to your mom. What an AMAZING surprise for you to receive a dress of your mom’s!! How AMAZING it is to have this dear lady around for you, for so long!
I have an “Aunt Marie,” that I’ve know since I can remember, that lives next door to my (blood) Aunt. She is every bit my “relative” and so are her children (my “cousins”).
Blood does not a “family” make!!
Thank you for that warm, uplifting story and lovely photo!
Marilee–she is adorable and amazing, and turning 92 next month. She’ll be flattered to hear what you said. She never sees my blog but I’ll have to print this out and send it to her.
Donna–can imagine why this would also make u emotional since you are very lucky to have such special “aunts” in your life too. Still wish we had a better name.
There are others in our lives who fit this description that we don’t call “aunts”—but really it doesn’t matter what you call them when you’re lucky enough to have someone like this who is there for you.
The picture of the two of you is gorgeous! You are so blessed to have such a special “Aunt” in your life!
Wonderful. Can there be anything more enchanting than a smile from your earliest memories still able to light your day and lift your heart. That reminds me. I have my own extraordinary 92 year old to call. Gotta go …
If I can’t have my own mom, I am lucky to have someone who adored her and remembers her. Gotta be grateful for every second and every person in our lives. Thank u both!
tender and beatiful. mannysr
darryle,
how sweet of you and how touching this article really is to me . . . you see, “aunt helen” really is my aunt! your words have described the beauty that she is and how very proud and lucky i am to have her in my life. i have heard so many fabulous things about you over the years and feel like i know you. has she told you that her sister-in-law is still kicking at 95? thank you again for celebrating her life.
jody
dear darryl,
i am the daughter of aunt helen’s sister-in-law-, florence, who is now 95 ands still living alone. i know how special aunt helen is to you, because she is that to all of us..i only have the warmest memories of what a special person she is, and how dear your mom was to her.
thank you so much for sharing this with me, i was so touched.
linda alboher
JOdy and Linda:
Thanks so much for sharing. And how amazing is it to be able to connect through cyberspace with people we’ve heard about for so many years?
Hearing from both of you just reinforces how special Aunt Helen is. YOu really touched my heart by letting me know other people whose lives she has touched besides mine.
Thanks so much for your words.
I think Aunt Helen would LOVE connecting in cyberspace—maybe that’s a great project for her when she turns 92. She’s amazing.