Last weekend’s celebration of coeducation at Yale turned out to be more than I expected; more than I could explain. While I take time digesting the experience, I thought I’d share some small bites.
The conference brought together women of all ages and all disciplines. Much of the conversation both onstage and off—centered around an issue that remains for most women, a constant source of struggle and stress— how to mix life and work.
Among the amazing array of speakers who addressed that topic was Margaret Marshall, the first female Chief Justice of the Massachusetts Supreme Court; graduate of Yale Law School, who as a college student fought against apartheid in her native South Africa.
A remarkably accomplished woman–she shared her tips for success—Margaret Marshall’s Top 10 List:
1. Be passionate about your work.
2. Learn from formal and informal rules— observe what’s going on around your workplace; then adjust your behavior according to what you learn
3. Seize every opportunity— even though, she says, ” They never come at the right time.”
4. Learn to tolerate the spotlight— Point to your accomplishments; blow your own horn. Although sometimes women find this difficult; many men are really good at modeling this skill.
5. Tolerate criticism—It’s not personal; it’s business.
6. Family first: She keeps a separate cell phone with a number only known to her family so they can always reach her.
7. Refuse to accept that childcare is women’s work only.
8. Pace yourself—-there is a long lifespan for work. Like the now-standard line: you can have it all; just not all at once.
9. Don’t be afraid to be yourself; own up to who you are— i.e if you like to wear bold colors, wear them.
10. Women succeed by making alliances with other women; give credit to women ahead of you and behind you; and pay it forward.
To help other women move forward, you can forward this–-a great list of resources and links provided by the conference.
Ellen Marshall says
Thanks for the report, Darryle! Sorry that I missed the celebratory weekend. I am, however, going back next week for a celebration of 40 years of The New Blue, so I had to pick one or the other. Your summary of Margaret Marshall’s comments are great, and I look forward to reading further reflections on the weekend from you.
Debi Drecksler says
I like the “Don’t Be afraid To Be Yourself”…I think we are programmed from very early to “fit in” and this one takes some work! The greatest thing my Mother taught me was “Don’t be afraid to draw outside the lines.”
Darryle Pollack says
The New Blue sang at Sat. nite dinner–they were wonderful— I was inspired just imagining you women who were so dynamic to set it up right at the beginning. What a wonderful legacy you left–totally understand why you would want to be there next weekend to celebrate. Wish they had thought of combining all the events related to coeducation into one weekend.
Darryle Pollack says
It’s been quite the balancing act for women to try to succeed in a man’s world—by trying to both mimic what men do; and also be themselves. Mars/Venus—how can you be both?
I completely agree with your mother— and I feel incapable of drawing INSIDE any lines.