The Huffington Post Ate My Homework

There’s always a kid in every class who does everything the teacher asks, turns in every assignment on time, even does extra credit.  I hate to admit it, but I was usually that kid.

I thought I had long left that attitude behind me.  But tonight, as I sit down to write this blog, I’m back in 5th grade with Mr. Wollman and I want to get an “A”.

I had a random idea this morning about Britney Spears and Michael Phelps.  I have no idea where it came from but it just came out and I wrote it up.  Which meant I got my homework done early.  (My homework being a blog a day, insane enough in itself.)  I thought the Huffington Post would like this blog, so I submitted it, which is how things work.  I figured I would post the blog here tonight, as I always do.  Then in a day or two, I would learn if the Huffington Post accepted it.

They took it immediately.  Like 20 minutes after I sent it.  I put a link here, and then I went about my day; went out to dinner and a movie; then V and I just watched the Olympics.  At 12:30 when I just sat down to post what I wrote earlier, suddenly I feel like I’m cheating or something.  If people already read it, maybe my homework won’t count.

I want that “A”, so I can’t say something like the dog ate my homework.  Although actually that is what happened.  The Huffington Post ate my homework.

I realize this is completely self-imposed, but still it’s a dilemma.  Do I turn in the homework I already did and have the teacher think I copied it from some other kid?  On the other hand, I did spend time doing that assignment and I deserve the credit.

Michael Phelps and Britney Spears:  A Perfect Couple

by Darryle Pollack, 5th grade, Mr. Wollman’s class

It struck me last night when NBC swung its camera away from the starting block where Michael Phelps was again about to make history– and I saw the hundreds of cameras in the press section, all trained on the pool (the new definition of pool coverage).  We’ve been here before.

Britney Spears.  Michael Phelps.  I’m surprised they didn’t think of this themselves.  Besides the mob of cameras permanently attached, they have so much in common.  Besides the fact that for awhile they had the same hairdo.

There’s bathing suits.  Obviously they both love wearing them, since that’s what they’re wearing in most of their pictures.  How they look in their bathing suits is another thing.  Since the world really, really cares about this, and scrutinizes every detail of their bodies.

More similarities.  They’re about the same age.  They’re both single right now, at least I haven’t noticed  a girlfriend in the Phelps cheering section.  Only his mother and sisters.  Which is another thing they have in common.  The family support in times of need.

Their life together might require a few tweaks.  Like Michael, Britney apparently loves spending time in pools–but not the Olympic kind with lanes.  And seeing Michael scarf down 12,000 calories per day might be a little tough to watch. 

But their differences could really work well for their images.  Michael, so squeaky clean, does have a DUI in his past, and must feel more than ready to drop the constant practicing in exchange for constant partying.   He can also benefit by Britney’s vast experience with all the Hollywood handlers who are in his immediate future.   

As for Britney’s image, especially for her next appearance in court, nothing could help her more than getting a little closer to a Wheaties box.

It’s perfect.  They don’t even need Match.com.

                       Extra Credit:   Movie Review

Tonight I saw the movie Vicky Cristina Barcelona.  It is written and directed by Woody Allen.  The stars are Scarlett Johanssen, Javier Bardem, Penelope Cruz, and others.  The movie takes place in Barcelona, Spain.  It is very good and very funny.  The acting is excellent.  Javier Bardem is very handsome.  I immensely enjoyed it, and I think everyone would like this movie.

Hope I get the “A”.  Sometimes Mr. Wollman is a really tough grader.