Arianna wrote a post today describing her idyllic excursion to Crete, where she’s vacationing with her two daughters…and her ex-husband.
You might want to read this whether you’re married or divorced, happily or unhappily, just to see what’s possible down the road (at least for some people). It’s 12 years later in Arianna’s case; 15 years in my case– and I can completely see myself in her shoes sandals.
We have our own modified version of a post-divorce vacation—which takes place whenever both kids are in the same time zone. Unlike Arianna’s exotic locale, our version is in Los Angeles— and mostly involves home-cooked meals by H and watching weeks of Jeopardy episodes that he recorded on Tivo. It’s not Crete; but it’s fun and it’s bonding and it’s relaxed.
And mostly, as Arianna says, it’s all about the kids.
A few days ago there was another get-together, this time here in Carmel. We sat at an outdoor cafe chatting casually, eating lunch on a beautiful day. As usual there were 4 of us– but in addition to my ex and I, the other two people with us were our significant others. NOT the kids—who were hundreds of miles away.
If you were a fly on the wall (if there had been a wall– which there wasn’t) you would have seen camaraderie, compassion, connection—which represents a lot of distance covered between divorced parents. And still, Arianna is right—- it’s always about the kids.