Late would be better — is what I’m thinking. Because it’s 7 a.m. on a Sunday morning, hours before I normally open my eyes.
On this day I’m already up and out —sitting on a folding chair on a cool gray morning in an enormous grassy field—along with more people than the entire population of the town where I live.
What I’m thinking as I look around— OMG. Who had the job of setting up thousands of folding chairs?
I am NOT thinking the words I’ve said so many times-—I never signed up for this.
Because I did…. I signed up for this the day I gave birth to my daughter —whose educational odyssey has been a script I never could have written—that led her here– to California State University at Fullerton.
Every one of the multitude around me is here for the same reason.
Like Alli, most of her fellow graduates are commuters, who work one or more jobs while attending college.
Unlike Alli, most of them did not graduate summa cum laude.
Also unlike Alli, many are the first college graduates in their families.
I’m thinking, I bet many of their journeys here are as inspiring—and unlikely–as hers.
This day, unexpected in many ways—includes the group gathered with me. In my experience, family has been a more fluid concept than I would have guessed. The others with me at the ceremony have in their own ways, also gone to great lengths– literally and metaphorically– to be here. We’re a random crew—mostly what we have in common is that we love Alli and want to share our pride in this moment.
All of this— so far from anything in my imagination. And yet everything feels absolutely right. That’s what I’m thinking– an indication of how far life—and I have come.
My mom had cancer; she only lived long enough to see one of her 3 children graduate high school. I had cancer, and I’ve seen both of my children graduate college in the past week. I’m beyond grateful, and fully present— taking in each of the layers of meaning that are part of this day.
The challenges make the joys even sweeter. I’m thinking that’s true not only for me, but for Alli.
It’s in her smile, her posture, her walk across the stage to collect her diploma and the honors she’s earned. It’s in the medals on her gown…the message on her cap–
Reflecting what’s in my heart, as I’m thinking— Better late than never? Maybe—although this moment couldn’t possibly be any better than it is.
priscilla says
How wonderful!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Congratulations to A for doing this her way – what an awesome achievement – beautiful!
V says
D/
As part of the ‘random crew’ at Alli’s graduation, I, as you, was filled with a whirl of emotions and thoughts – the improbability of events that led to this culmination and the improbability of the group gathered to celebrate with Alli…and yet, the ‘rightness’ of everything.
The difference is, that I could never adequately convert my feelings to words as you have. I found myself, as I read this piece, and as I have done hundreds of times before with things on your blog, saying to myself – ” My God, this is well written”. The envy of not having this talent myself is salved by the satisfaction of being married to it.
Love,
V/
Angelle says
Beautiful….congrats to your daughter and you 🙂
Darryle Pollack says
Thanks so much–It really is an awesome achievement—and quite a difference from the way you and I went to college. Such a valuable lesson to trust our kids to do it their way— which really is the right way.
Darryle Pollack says
I love when you comment on my blog! Always so meaningful and I’m especially touched by this one. No one better knows the improbability of events that led to this event–and the rightness of how it felt. For all the things I feel lucky about, having you to share it is definitely on the list (although as usual, not at the top—haha) And by the way, I beg to differ–I think you express your feelings in words perfectly.
Darryle Pollack says
Thanks so much, Angelle, and thank you for reading and commenting.
marlawentner says
Congratulations to everyone on this long journey. You must be so proud of both of your children, each making his or her way in the way they felt was correct. It is sometimes very hard to have the courage to let them go (actually not sometimes — always).
The next parts of the journey will be just as filled with challenge, that part is certain.
Bask in the glow of all of this success because you have played an immense part in all of the happenings. Cheers!
Darryle Pollack says
I’m definitely basking in the glow—even a week later. As you said, it’s hard–always–for parents to let children go their own ways—but it gets so much easier once you get used to it and realize that’s the best and only way for them to grow. Funny how until you become a parent, you have no idea that children’s challenges can be so much harder for the parents! Thanks so much for such a sweet and thoughtful comment.