I know, I know. It’s barely past Valentine’s Day and love is still in the air. And I’m not against romance. I’m happily married. I believe in love at first sight and happily-ever-after fairy tales. I cry at sentimental stories, romantic comedies, and commercials.
Those are all disclaimers to prove I’m not some bitter old lady. (Although the “old” part is debatable.)
But I just can’t wrap my head around what’s happened to the wedding business. And I mean “business” in the broadest sense.
It’s enough that weddings have become events arranged by planners like a military campaign—now they cost as much, too. (I promise this is the only time in this post I’ll mention the name Kardashian.)
And the pressure starts way before the walk down the aisle.
It’s pretty ironic for someone of my generation who fought for what men had—lately I’ve found myself feeling sorry for men when it comes to getting married.
First of all, the ring. Many women make clear that they expect a certain standard to be met. And I thought it was men who always believe size matters.
Even worse is what’s happened to the proposal. It used to be a private moment that was sweet, spontaneous, even stumbling—but always sincere.
Now it’s become orchestrated —hand in hand with the ring, it’s the first hurdle men have to scale to give the bride the perfect fairy tale.
Do women really care if it’s elaborate? Or original—as long as it’s real? Does it have to be YouTube-worthy? All that should matter is that the man is coming from the heart.
And the bended knee thing? It might be quaint in the movies or on The Bachelor, but when did it become obligatory?
I admit, I’ve seen some cute examples of proposals. Thanks to YouTube, we all have. Like the one where the girl is with her brother watching a movie preview that her boyfriend created leading up to his proposal.
How does a guy top that?
Maybe I’m cynical—but wouldn’t you want the proposal to reflect the man you’re marrying, not the consultant?
I have my own proposal: that men—and women–stop buying into the manufactured romance—and start remembering love is about the sentiment, not the spectacle.
Meanwhile, watch this video. You have to wonder whether this guy hired proposal consultants— and more importantly, if he can get his money back: