The Bucket List is way beyond the movie; it’s part of the lexicon, part of life—-the things you want to do before you die.
Lately it seems as if everyone and his dog has a Bucket List. Which is great. Up to a point.
There’s a place where the Buck(et) Stops. Where the brave and bold move beyond.
For me, the moment hit somewhere between thinking about getting a face-lift and getting my affairs in order. Not that I’ve done either one.
For baby boomers, the dawn of the new decade could be the perfect time.
It’s not about age; it’s about attitude.
You are ready to move Beyond the Bucket List when:
- The bucket is in sight-–and you have insight.
- You don’t have it ALL; but you have ENOUGH.
- You are thinking ahead—and behind.
- You want to GO—and also LET GO.
So go with it. Create a list that’s the flip side of the Bucket List.
I couldn’t avoid the obvious—-so call it: The F**k-it List.
Things you shoulda done, woulda done, coulda done—but know you won’t.
Things you are ready to cross off your Bucket List—with or without regret.
Since I’m making up the concept, I’m also making up the rules:
- Be honest. Be sure you have searched your soul and are ready to give something up.
- Be flexible—there’s no particular number of items. As you get older your Bucket List will get shorter; your F**k-it list will get longer.
- Be real. Pick things you had some legitimate possibility of accomplishing. In my case, it’s not likely that I’d win a Nobel Prize—-but in my fantasies, it’s possible I could sing onstage with Bruce Springsteen.
The most important feature is that you are not GIVING UP; you are GIVING permission; GIVING acceptance to the person who counts most—yourself.
It’s an easy way to assess where you are at this point in your life. Plus I promise a sense of relief and release comes from letting yourself off the hook. Permanently. Publicly.
So here goes:
MY F**K-IT LIST:
Get an advanced degree
Travel in space
Fit into the clothes from my past lives
Run a marathon
Climb a mountain
Have a completely clutter free house or a completely clean desk
Walk through an art museum and be able to appreciate everything
Learn what’s under the hood of a car
Throw a delicious meal together from random ingredients in the refrigerator
(This list would have one extra item but it still feels premature—-until the Boss stops performing, I’m hanging onto that remote chance I’ll get to sing with his band.)
To launch this concept as a meme, I’m posting my list on Facebook and tagging friends; I hope you’ll post your own F**k-it List and pass it forward.
(Especially recommended if you don’t keep New Year’s Resolutions but don’t want to feel bad about yourself. LOL)
Also posted on the Huffington Post
Love this Darryle. I have to say 3 years ago when I career and life transitioned,it was the beginning of a F**K It List I didn’t know I was going to live.
I moved after living ALL my life in Miami/Ft Laud, to SWFL where I didn’t know one person. That plan A didn’t work out. I didn’t think for a minute I’d need a B plan, but my God had other ideas for me.
so I stayed and in Feb 07 I launched my own business..that was on my FIt list
here goes..
be an entrepreneur and help people
write books (my first EBook is ready for launch)
write more songs (just got a royalty check for one I wrote in 1980)
travel more
volunteer to educate women in countries where they are not yet empowered
bicycle cross country
be on Oprah
live not needing anything material
let my hair go naturally silver
make more friends
what shall we do together? Maybe cook that meal?
re ‘what would darryle say’……and the **-list?
That’s what I’m talkin about!
You constantly surprise me, Darryle: I didn’t know you were a singer. You might have some pull with “The Boss”; he shares our birth year!
Deborah–good for you, if we’re going to cook that meal hope it’s not with ingredients from MY refrigerator.
Gayle: Hope you’ve got your list done!
Mark: I said it’s a fantasy. I’d be really happy to stand behind him and play the tambourine.
DP, you may have to go shopping then and get us at least some staples, like beans and peas?
Why did I miss this one? It’s hysterical… thank you twitter and Huffpost.
I’m of to facebook to be your friend
Ciao
Eleonora xx
Here’s our short list:
Travel in time
Kill a zombie
Be royalty
Thanks, so glad to see your list! I should post some of the other great items I’ve been seeing, thanks so much for sharing the F**k it list on Facebook too.
This is hilarious! I am so glad we met. Now I must get to work on my list…
1. Watch the aurora borealis from a dogsled in Alaska
2. Be on a talk show.
3. Get a jewel in my belly button.
Love your list, Jamie, You’re hilarious.
sandra and i did the 10 mile walk yesterday in the big sur marathon. it was quite extraordinary. i think the walk is cooler than the marathon. somehow this F**K It List reminded me of something barbara streisand used to say: “i don’t want much, i just want more.”
Love that—I don’t want much; I just want more.
The walk is far more my speed in every way–and that is NOT going on the F**k-it list—might have to join you two next year.
Moved three more things from BUcket to F**kit list:
-Care about our finances.
-Learn to gallop on a horse.
-Take up skiing again.
Phew! I feel lighter already!
When are we going to tweetup again?
Jamie
My F*ck it List:
Meet a Unicorn
Train a monkey
Own a Lamborghini
Love it!! But can’t imagine EVER wanting to train a monkey!
Beyond the Bucket List………. The F**k-it List
EXCUSE ME? I think FORGET IT list would be a classier way of saying this. I don’t use this type of language and I don’t read info from people who do. It is really a shame because I thought you had such insight and humor.
1, Have a healthy, loving relationship with a man ie: find my soulmate
2.Be the head writer/show runner of a sitcom (web or network, I could care less)
3. Be able to pay all my bills on time AND travel first class to Europe once a year
Does any of this shit qualify?
LOVE THE CONCEPT AND IT IS SO NEEDED THESE DAYS!!!
My fuck it list is mainly things my body will not let me do anymore like downhill skiing, climbing 14ers, sail on the Titanic II, space travel, and ride my bike since I fell off it 4 years and got a traumatic brain injury. Oh yeah, and remembering anything for any length of time! 🙂 🙂 🙂
Fuck this-
-make a budget and stick with it (beyond laughable)
-exercise 5 times a week every week as recommended by every magazine every published
-pretend that I enjoy drinking – I really don’t
-swear off of sugar
-have a meaningful relationship with my mother-in-law
That’s enough for today.
This is a terrific concept. My fuck-it list is that I will love myself the way I am and stop comparing myself to others or seeking out the love and acceptance of people who will never understand me. When I am able to do that I will know I will have learned the lessons of this life that I was sent here to learn.
Travel in space
Make the NY times Bestseller list – or any bestseller list
Sleep through the night without waking up to pee
Live a long life, but not that long that I forget who I am
I swear, I could stay home all day and do nothing but read Darryle Pollack. And you know, that would be a day well-spent and It’s the first item going on my F**k-It List. I love this concept. Can’t wait to get starting on my own. Thanks!
Actually, no. I think having strep throat has affected your brain; and this sounds closer to a bucket list than a F**-it List–doubt these are things you really want to give up wanting. I’m such a big fan of yours; know there’s a decent chance that some if not all of these things could still happen. Hang in there. But if you don’t find the soulmate, can I go with you on the trips to Europe?
Thanks so much Laura; funny how so many of us (our age) must have really believed someday we’d travel in space. Yikes, sorry to hear about the brain injury; very scary. Definitely give up that one! What is climbing 14ers by the way?
Great list, Sharon; doesn’t it feel great to let go of this stuff? Want to say how I really appreciate the Gen Fab group who really seem to get this concept! Guess it’s an age thing. Thanks so much.
Wow, Chloe, I think yours is a perfect list for any age, too bad we don’t do this stuff when we’re younger. I think you’ve already done or started doing just what you describe. Thanks so much.
Loving these lists—but pretty sure your last item is do-able. haha Thank you Janie!
Thank YOU Marci–for sharing and getting me. So glad we’ve connected and can’t wait to see what u come up with on your list. xxoo
ditto the peeing!
I wondered if you non-Colorado people would understand the word “14ers.”
Those are mountains over 14,000 feet tall! Not only am I not in good enough shape to climb them now, but I find I cannot handle the altitude (as in cannot breathe!) even though I live above 5,000 feet!
Darryle, you’re more than welcome. I’m glad we’ve connected, too; it’s a pleasure to share your gems with my readers. I’ll have fun working up my list. Take care! xoxom