While everyone is still feeling warm and glowy about their moms, I feel a little guilty to go rogue…. and point out a Mother’s Day comment I read on Facebook: A friend described her mom as “imperfectly perfect.”
I like it because it fits perfectly into what I was planning to write about today—the pursuit of perfection. I know hope Amy Ferris won’t mind that I’m sharing her words without permission—-since this gives me a chance to plug her wonderful book Marrying George Clooney— who happened to turn 50 last week (and who some mistakenly think is perfection personified.)
But mostly I like her comment because it’s so true.
Could there be anything more imperfect than the idea of perfection?
I wanted to be the perfect mother. Be the perfect wife. Have the perfect children and the perfect life. Don’t we all?
And I really tried hard, especially at the mothering part. You could say I was obsessed. You WOULD say I was obsessed if you were one of my kids knew me. Somewhere in my soul I knew this quest was impossible but I couldn’t accept that. And when something didn’t turn out perfectly, I blamed myself—for what I thought I had done wrong.
It took cancer to wise me up–cancer doesn’t fit into any definition of perfect. And I was far from a perfect patient. Accepting the imperfections in my body led me to surrender to the other imperfections in my life—and in myself. And since then I’m on a mission to embrace imperfection—even through mosaics and mirrors I create to reflect my new way of thinking– that true beauty lies in the imperfections.
No one is perfect and everyone is perfect.
Changing my attitude after a lifetime was challenging….especially when I thought back on all my regrets and mistakes, so I came up with a little mantra that I adopted : I did the best I could….at the time.
It’s intended for mothers trying to “have it all”—but I can’t think of a better motto for everyone to apply to everything in life. In fact, it’s perfect.
By the way, though I wasn’t the perfect mother, somehow I did end up with two perfect kids. And if someday they write about me what Amy wrote on her facebook page: I’d be perfectly happy.