Darryle Pollack

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You are here: Home / Anything & Everything / I was a book club drop-out

12 Comments

I was a book club drop-out

Once upon a time  ….since I love people….and I love books……I was the perfect fit to be part of a book club.

I tried six; I even started one.  And I learned that  book clubs—like books— don’t always end happily ever after.

Though Oprah gave a boost to book lovers everywhere, I never found that book group some of my friends rave about…. that meet religiously for decades;  share joys and sorrows, inspiring and  intimate conversation.

These days, the closest I get to a book group is when our cat sits on top of me when I read under the covers.   She adds warmth— but not much wit.

Occasionally I write about books,  to keep my book muscles functioning;  still I can’t help feeling as if I’m missing out.

Like the times when I think I’m getting close to the end of a book…….then abruptly, a page later, it’s over.   Instead of more book,  the last few pages turn out to be a list of questions called:   A Readers  Book Club Guide.

It’s annoying enough that the book ends before I thought it would….and those questions are harder to answer than any literature exam I ever had in college.

But what really burns me is the attitude:   Obviously this final section is designed to be reserved— for the exclusive use of  book group members only.

Very elitist, I’d say.  And a slap in the face to non-book-group members—such as….(ahem) moi.

Oh, I get the message loud and clear.   But guess what—even though I know they intended to exclude me—-sometimes I read the questions anyway.

Meanwhile I’m still back where I started…..club-less in Carmel.   But I just  joined a virtual book group organized by the Silicon Valley Moms blog. We don’t meet in person;  we live all over the country.   It’s interesting to read posts submitted by everyone who wants to read that month’s book….which is how I came to write about The Possibility of Everything.

My 7th book club; and so far, so good.   If you’re in a book group, I’d be curious to know what you love about  it—just in case someday I take another stab at that happy ending.

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Comments

  1. Susan B says

    March 6, 2010 at 8:53 am

    I belonged to a book club when I lived full time in Utah. It was very well organized….fully planned with dates, books, locations, presenters for nine months of the year. There were approximately 20 members and it was a very eclectic group of women, many with very strong opinions that they were not afraid to share. Being a retired teacher, at times, it didn’t feel any different than being in a classroom of eighth graders. I observed that our quiet members didn’t share, and as a result, we lost valuable insight into the books we read. The dynamics were out of balance. Now that I live part time he California and part time in Utah it is impossible to join a book club, but an online experience may be just be perfect for me.

  2. feefifoto says

    March 6, 2010 at 9:05 am

    I tried one book group, which I thought I’d love, but I didn’t. I wanted to be in complete control of what I read. My daughter’s in an online book discussion group; that seems to me to be an ideal way to go.

  3. Darryle Pollack says

    March 6, 2010 at 4:19 pm

    Sounds as if your experience is similar to mine–the more vocal members speak up and sometimes dominate the conversation. And definitely organization is key. Come to think of it, considering my propensity towards disorganization, who would want me in their book club, anyway?? LOL

  4. Darryle Pollack says

    March 6, 2010 at 4:21 pm

    I like the concept of an online book discussion–but I’m online SO much and part of so many communities, I’m afraid if I join one more group online, I’ll never get out of the house.

  5. priscilla says

    March 7, 2010 at 6:48 am

    Very encouraging as I haven’t wanted to join a book club yet –until now– always felt I was missing something!

  6. Anonymous says

    March 7, 2010 at 4:00 pm

    I’m in one and I love it. All members are really smart and discussions are very satisfying. Plus it
    forces me to read books I wouldn’t normally read.
    Recently we read “The Help” and all found it to be seriously flawed. It was a great idea but the author was not up to her subject. I was afraid I’d be the only one who did not like it.

  7. Darryle Pollack says

    March 8, 2010 at 2:54 am

    Whether you–and I–are missing something all depends on who you talk to—-i.e., read the next comment.

  8. Darryle Pollack says

    March 8, 2010 at 3:00 am

    You’re lucky—and I’m still on the fence.
    And by the way, I thought I was the only one who didn’t ADORE “The Help.”

  9. Jane Gassner says

    March 8, 2010 at 2:35 pm

    I’ve been in a number of bookclubs and always end up feeling ‘meh.’ Perhaps I’m just not a joiner…

  10. Darryle Pollack says

    March 8, 2010 at 3:54 pm

    After 6 failed book clubs, I think I should assume I’m not a joiner either.

  11. Robin says

    November 15, 2010 at 6:44 am

    I currently belong to a book club (with 5-6 other women) and I’m trying to figure out how exactly to “drop out”. We wind up spending about 5 minutes actually discussing the book we’ve read. The rest of the time (usually two hours or so) is spent chatting about jobs, husbands, clothes, etc. Now, don’t get me wrong, I like chit-chatting about all these things…but it’s difficult for me, because everyone else in the book club (except for me) has a job in the field of elementary or pre-school education. I often sit there, feeling like I have absolutely nothing in common with these women. I’m thinking of just sending an email to everyone saying that I no longer have the time for the book club. The online bookclub does seem like an interesting concept…I’ll have to check it out.
    For those of you who have “quit” book clubs, did you just stop going to the meetings, or did you let the others in the group know that you were quitting?

  12. Darryle Pollack says

    November 15, 2010 at 1:22 pm

    I’ve usually just stopped going to meetings; but probably more thoughtful (and honest) to let them know you are dropping out. Hope you have more luck than I did in finding a group in your community—meanwhile I definitely recommend checking out From LEft to Write. Thanks for commenting.

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