No one looks big next to Muhammad Ali; but in other ways, my dad was a big man. Smart. Savvy. Successful. Especially to me– he was a huge force in my life, my only parent since I was a teenager. There were no books or blogs to teach him how to be a single parent—there was only his determination to become one.
Until I became a parent myself, I never appreciated what that took or what it meant. He’s been gone for more than 10 years, and I’m not sure I ever really told him– or thanked him.
There was only one year I remember giving him anything for Father’s Day— other than a tie.
It was 1983; he had some business in Kentucky and my husband and I flew from California to spend Father’s Day with him and to bring him his gift—the news that I was pregnant.
I hope it made up for all those ties.
It was a great surprise, but it couldn’t come close to all he gave me—the gifts that keep on giving, I wish I expressed my gratitude more often while he was here—but maybe it’s never too late for any of us to thank the ones we love:
Though I don’t appreciate inheriting the dark circles….I have your eyes—-and I know yours were always watching out for me.
Though I also don’t appreciate inheriting the propensity for Alzheimer’s, I have your brain—that you used to teach me to use mine.
Though I wish I had inherited your discipline, I have your vitality—that always seemed to grow the older I grew.
Though you didn’t show me your weaknesses, I have your strength—that held me up and proved I could hold myself up when you weren’t there.
Though you always tried to protect me, I have your resilience—that I learned by seeing you adapt every time you must have thought “I never signed up for this…”
Though I can’t remember you ever telling me, I have your love—and you will always have mine.
Happy Father’s Day to all the dads, in my life and in yours.
A wonderful tribute to a wonderful man.
Darryl, I loved your father. I had the great privelege to have worked for him for three years and be part of his extended family for over 40. His warmth and wisdom, the sparkle in his eyes… he was a genuine treasure of a human being.
We can cite in unison his virtues, such as his honesty, his sense of humor, his work ethic, business acumen, generosity, etc, etc, etc. What I was also taken by was his curiosity, his “thirst for knowlege” (forgive the cliche) as it were. His beautiful blue eyes were always wide open to learning and discovering what the world had to offer.
Before he was moved up to Maryland, we were shopping at Poopiks and he was thanking me for helping him out (Paul asked me to keep an eye on him but I was not aware of the Alzheimers) and I said not to mention it. It was a pleasure to have an excuse to see him on a regular basis. Then we both looked at each other and said simultaneously, “Because we’re family!” We hugged and then he broke hold and said, “Wait, I need a Rye bread…”
And THAT’s what I valued most about him. Nobody I have ever known exemplified and demonstrated love of and loyalty to family better than Irving Pollack. So I’m with you, kid.
Mike Rosenthal
It always surprised me when anyone was able to see beneath my dad’s hard edges to the soft heart underneath. Clearly you managed to do that. Thanks for that and even more, for letting me know.
No question…though I didn’t mention it, I should have—–there was nothing our dad stood for more than love and loyalty to family, including extended family on all sides—and no greater legacy he left us. I love hearing new stories about him—so sweet of you to share this one and your feelings about him. It’s really a treat and a treasure —after a parent is gone—for their children to hear that they touched someone’s life or had an impact— and that they’re not forgotten.